Dateline: (AP) Hartland, Michigan
The Baitman has organized a “Million Stick March”
To Washington, DC to protest the rising cost of Taxes.
Sportsmen From around the Nation are hoping that
Fishermen, Golfers, and Rabbit Clubbers can Avert
A STRIKE with Club & Stick Manufacturers. Hope
Is diminishing as both sides “Stick” in there.
In an exclusive interview, The Press quotes the
Baitman as saying: “I feel your pain…Those of us
Who are use to carrying the Big Stick in America, can
No longer compete in the Global Market when better
Funded manufacturers from Taiwan and Scotland offer
‘cheaper sticks’ to their citizens. This is a political issue.
We have explored revenue sharing, but frankly, there
Isn’t much revenue left to share after taxes”.
Legislation will also be submitted to Congress to provide
Salary caps and quota limitations for suppliers. Baitman
Says “we need mediation to insure that no single entity
Gets all the Fish, Rabbits, or Golf Balls”.
The Baitman also proposes that all suppliers, such as
Nike, Strata, Wilson, or Daiwa, be required to ship all
Products to the Baitman for a “Fair Distribution”. The
Baitman has offered to offer discounts on all list prices
And offer some free merchandise on new orders.
An unidentified man on the street has told the Press:
“Something needs to be done Now…we need to form a
Club or something”. March with Baitman to Washington.
A spokesman from Sports Illustrated sates: “We applaud
The efforts of the Baitman…We support his “Stick” March.
Our Magazine relies on the stories of the Fishermen, Golfers,
And Rabbit Clubbers. If it weren’t for those articles we
Would only have the February Swimsuit issue”.
From Washington, President Bush, fearing a Million Sticks
In town, has warned against a STRIKE and has hinted at
Federal Intervention, if they can’t resolve the stuff on
Their own. Bush states: “Very simply, we already have a war
On terrorism…it simply would not look good for the
American image to have the Baitman here with all his
“Clubs & Sticks”. Can’t they just all get along?
Baitman was unavailable for comment at Press time.
Baitman Enterprises
8/31/02
200.09
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