200.30 - Weapons Of Bass Destruction

Weapons of Bass Destruction Discovered By Baitman

It has been reported that an unidentified fisherman has discovered a “Dead Zone” in the Atlantic off the shores of Myrtle Beach, SC.

The fisherman had just purchased the Baitman “36” inch worm from Baitman Products and was exploring the local shorelines. Not receiving a single “bite”, he duly registered a complaint with the local waterway authorities.

“Dead Zones” are small underwater pockets that have become devoid of all aquatic life.

These “Dead Zones” have been increasingly reported by fishermen who have discovered that there is no hope ever of catching a fish in these maliciously destroyed waters.

Since these registered complaints involve coastal waters and are now under the jurisdiction of Homeland Security and are duly investigated.

This authority emerged from the “FAIR BAIT ACT” enacted in congress from the Baitman’s Million Stick March on Washington last year.

The Baitman is an authorized Homeland Security Provider and is responsible for underwater protection.

The government assigns all suspicious terroristic incidents to the Baitman for investigation and report.

The Baitman uses the only government approved “Fishing Cam” to get to the “Bottom” of things in a hurry.

The Baitman Fishing Cam investigation confirms the presence of a “Dead Zone” off the shores of Myrtle Beach.

The area explored was loaded with broken hooks, tangled lines, anemic worms and minnows, and a ton of old rusty “Great Bait” containers.

For the moment, Baitman is posting a LOW Security Alert. However, these incidents have peaked since competitors have entered the market. The stuff is JUNK…and the Fish know it and won’t touch it….thus creating another “Dead Zone”.

Baitman advises: Never give out your Zip Code when ordering Non-Baitman products.

Baitman Enterprises
6/16/05
200.30