200.02 - EtherNET Underwater InterNET

Baitman Enterprises now offers Earthworm EtherNet Wireless Internet Services

To All Baitman Customers:

Baitman Enterprises is pleased to announce that it has invested "deeply" into the technolgy of the World Wide Internet and has developed its own Under Water WWW. interNET.

Imagine this....fisherman..... You can now search and explore for any type of Fish, in any lake, pond, or ocean with a single click. Never have to use a Line or Hook again..... Make your selection and the Fish is "hooked" by the Earthworm EtherNet....right to your Kitchen. Click on "recipes" and you are on your way to an High Tech Fish Dinner from Baitman.

An Independant Network

Fish Internet has built a totally independent, fixed wireless broadband network, bypassing other telecommunication companies altogether. This means that we can deliver superior service, cheaper plans and faster Internet speeds to you, in locations other providers cannot.

Because we are not reliant on any other telecommunications carrier, we can deploy our network wherever it is needed. We have already deployed networks in Fresh and Salt Water communities in the contingent USA states and way down under in Australia.

If you have a favorite Pond or Fishing Hole, you may link it to our "NET" by contacting the BAITMASTER: Ethernet-Fish@charter.net

EASY SET-UP & INSTALLATION:

Once you have purchased the Baitman Software and selected the "Monthly Fishing Plan" that meets your needs.... you will need a Computer and and "Landing House" for your "UP LOADS".

This is where all of your fish from the NET will go....so it is very important that you "Configure" your Landing Port properly. Baitman does provide Tech Support for installations at this time, but does not provide any security for "Worm" viruses that may attack your system at this time.

PLACE YOUR ORDER NOW:

Plan	Hours	UP-Loads	Fishing Time	Price
PRE-PAID HOURS
Easy Sucker Plan	100 Hours	Unlimited	Valid: 30 days	$65.00
Baitman Deluxe Plan	250 Hours	Unlimited	Valid: 90 days	$130.00

You can roll over your unused & expired bulk rate hours if you purchase another bulk rate packa ge.

Endorsed By Paul Harvey:

Mr. Baitman, Sir.... You have spent all your years in the Bait Shop promoting Hooks, Worms, and Bobbers and now....you are going High Tech into the NET....even after introducing the 36" worm....Please tell us the REST OF THE STORY.....

Baitman: THE REST OF THE "STORY".......of course, it is simple...

When people ask why we believe in the future of our company and our industry, the answer is not based on technology alone, but on what we hear from business and Fishermen around the region. They clearly understand the productivity opportunities and the associated standard of living implications that Internet communications solutions provide. The Fishermen have spoken and expressed their needs as evidenced by the last election.

Everyone knows that there is more Water than Land on this Global Earth Planet.. The Politicians of this world have taken over the "grass roots" communities and have forced many a worm to be subject to Urban "Crawl"... Enough is enough.... We have learned that we can create our own "NET". They got the Land , We got the Sea.....

Besides, it's Biblical.... The Worms and Water were here First..... Baitman only desires to unite Man with Fish, the way it was designed...... That's why we keep on developing NEW STUFF.

Baitman Enterprises
11/8/04
200.02

200.01 - Baitman Tide Detector

BAITMAN RESEARCH DEVELOPMENT SERVICE

Baitman Advisory:

Don't even think of planning a Fishing Trip unless you first know where the Water is. The Moon makes the Water come in and come out....It is simply a matter of the Fisherman to be in the right spot at the right time.

This is just another reason that you must be a subscriber to BAITMAN'S

ETHER-NET , an underwater wireless service provider.

Many customers write to us and claim that they purchased our Worms, but claim that they still did not catch Fish. This is NOT at Worm problem, but a Fisherman/User problem. That is why we always try to research and develop more useless information so that you can use to order more Bait.

Don't miss that next big Fish cause you mis-read that 3.8 foot Tide adjustment on the small lake, or forgot about the 20 foot ocean wave when you were suppose to be at 16 foot. Make sure you sign up for the Baitman Tide Detector.

Baitman Enterprises
2-19-06
200.01

100.20 - WJR - 760AM -Worm Interview

BAITMAN INTERVIEWS
MR. WORM

Morning Show: Feb. 19, 2006

Welcome , Mr. Worm, to our Morning Show. As you know our Fishermen Customers all depend on you to enjoy our lives and make our money. Please let our customers know the "other side of the story", from a Worm's point of view.

How are you?
I’m fine. How are you?

Note: The entire Broadcast Transcript is available from Baitman Enterprises.

Thank You, Mr Worm....... Indeed, you are our "Friends". We all look forward to meeting again on the next Fishing Trip.

Baitman Enterprises

2-19-06

100.20

100.19 - Vacation Plan Memo

Vacation Plan Memo

To: Employee
From: Payroll Dept.
Date: January 16. 2005
Subject: Vacation Pay

Dear Valued Employee:

Our records indicate that you have not used all of your FISHING TIME-OFF pay for the last 30 years . As I'm sure you are aware, employees are granted 3 weeks of paid leave per year or pay in lieu of time off. One additional week is granted for every 5 years of service.

Please either take the next 2,400 days off work or notify our office, and your next pay check will reflect payment of $277,432.22 which will include all pay and interest for the past 360 months.

Please have your Boss complete Baitman Form # 86 (in triplicate,please) and forward to our Dept.

Thank You for your loyal servitude. Also, remember that you may purchase Gold, Bronze, and Silver Anniversary Pins from the Baitman Gift Shop for only $l4.95/each.

Sincerely,

Your Automated Payroll Processing System

1-16-2005

100.19

100.18 - Baitman Debit Card

YOU ARE PRE-APPROVED FOR THE NEW BAITMAN DEBIT CARD.....

You have been selected to receive one of the First Fish Internet Cards issued by BAITMAN ENTERPRISES, already recognized as the BEST global Worm Provider.

This card connects you to all of the BAITMAN services that you have enjoyed over the years, but now it is all Wireless, Instant, and honored wherever you take your BAITMAN Card.

Use it for your next "Fish N'Chicks" Cruise, Order European Worms online, purchase hooks, bobbbers, and even Hook N' Cook recipe books from the Baitman Store.

New applicants also receive ONE FULL GALLON of Gasoline for their Fishing Boat. You know how it "sucks" when you are fishing All Day, finally hook the BIG one....but ran out of gas and have to float home whenever you get there. No More....Just whip out the BAITMAN CARD. We NET-WORK with all Fishing Vessels, and we will make sure you get another gallon of gas.

Getting your BAITMAN card easy......IT IS FREE..... all you need to do is fill out the application.

We pretty much simply ask you to reveal everything about yourself, send us a couple of your old credit cards that still have some balance on them, to verify credit worth , and we take from there.

After we receive your Application we will forward to our Fraudulent Fishing Department for review. You can understand that some applicants sometimes overstate their "Net-Worth".

Once you are APPROVED... we will issue you the BAITMAN CARD and include a copy of the Terms & Agreement. For your convience, the following Disclosure terms are noted...but you need not bother with all that "Small" print... Just Grab the CARD and GO FISHING.......

Disclosures:

APR premium rates will be established based on the International market price of Worms. We use Asian Stock quotes since they get up earlier than most fishermen. Current interest rate is 19.99% plus per diem dock fees. There are no Annual Fees for the BAITMAN CARD, but deposits of of un-used credit cards deposited with application will not be returned upon termination of this agreement. A charge of 3% will be assigned to cardholders who do not maintain an inventory of at least 100 worm inches. A monthly purchase of (3) "36" worms will keep the account in good standing. Late Fees are $25.00 per biling cycle. You will be billed this Fee each month, but may get a Re-BAIT at the end of the year by filling out form Fish 2061b and submit one more "credit card" as identification.
Re-Baits may not be used as credit towards monthly statement, but are redeemable in the Baitman Store. International Use of this Card will be billed an additional $42.00/month. Those who order from our European or Canadian Worm stock will be assumed to be fishing ouside the US Waterways. An OVER THE LIMIT charge may also be imposed. Subscribers who catch more Fish than they are allowed to will be OVER THE LIMIT and Baitman is held harmless from all legal recourse. Fishermen who order BAITMAN PRODUCTS using the Card, and Catching More Fish than Bait Records provide will also be accessed the OVER LIMIT Charge. Fees start at 3.99/Hour. Any Questions: Just Call: 1-800-BAITMAN.

Baitman Credit Department

11/14/05
100.18

100.17 - Baitman Bed & Bath Products

Baitman Bath & Body Products

Get Clean with "Dirt"

Baitman Bath Bar Soaps.
All Bath & Body products use the same essential Earthworm oils to ensure the perfect scent experience.
Available In Six Fragrances. Dirt, Beer, Fresh Fish, Natural Worm, Cool Rain and Morning Golf Course.

Baitman Digest: (as advertised)

I phoned the company as soon as I heard about it and ordered three bottles. “Can you ship them overnight?” I asked, frantic with excitement.

I tore open the package and stood holding one of the plainly-labeled bottles in my hand, trying to summon up the scent of earthworms in my mind. I thought of the garlic smell my composting worms were supposed to give off, and of the legendary lily-scented worms that are quite possible extinct now.

I can see the entirety of the earthworm story told in these fragrances. “Earthworm” and “Grass” like the nightcrawler castings on a golf course. WOW ....heaven on earth!

The entire collection of Baitman "Scents" are now available. Fishermen need to learn from our "Hunting" Friends - "Smell Right" to get get the BIG ONE.

Baitman Enterprises
100.17

100.16 - Fish Do Fly Sometimes

Flying Fish Alert

Attention Baitman Customers:

We have recently been receiving letters from our customers that they are actually seeing Fish "Flying" around them, and eventhough using our Worms, can't seem to catch a thing.

Our first impression, was that this was a Fisherman's "Tail" to scam a refund from the Baitman. It makes no sense to be possible, especially if you are using our State of Bait - 36" Worm.

However, we turned the matter over to our Research Department, and indeed, there seems to be some credibility to the "FLYING FISH" phenomena being experienced by our customers.

Flying fish can easily be identified by their huge "flying fins" and lopsided tails. Flying fish are capable of jumping out of the water and gliding through the air over considerable distances. Two-winged flying fish have exceptionally large pectoral fins that they spread out like wings during gliding flights. In addition to huge pectoral fins, four-winged flying fish also have enlarged pelvic fins used for gliding.

Flying fish have deeply forked tails and the lower lobe of the tail is much longer and larger than the upper lobe. In preparation for flight, flying fish swim quickly towards the water's surface and leap out of the water. Once they are out of the water, the fish use their large wing-like fins and the large lower lobe of their tail to glide through the air.

The enlarged lower lobe of the tail acts like an outboard motor, the speedy sideways motion of the tail allows the fish to gain height from the surface of the water, and extend the flight time. Fish can glide as far as 100 metres and as high as one metre above the surface of the water, but most flights are shorter.

Flying fish use their unusual flying talent to escape predators such as swordfish, tunas, and other larger fishes and Giant Worms like the Baitman 36" Terratris.

Fear not.... The Baitman Development Center is already researching and getting information from our "Net" and "Clubbing" departments and is confident that we will soon be able introduce another fine Baitman Product to meet this Fisherman need.

Baitman Enterprises

2/24/06
100.16

100.15 - Special Delivery Service

Photo: Cruise Missile Launched from a Baitman Cruise Boat

The Baitman, in cooperation with the Department of Defense, is proud to announce the FASTEST delivery of Baitman products - Right to your FRONT Door.... In 15 Minutes or less.

HERE'S HOW OUR DELIVERY PROGRAM WORKS:

1. When you place your order specify Special Delivery and include your GPS Coordinates.

2. We carefully pack your Worm Order in the Nose Cone of the Missile.

3. We can GPS your Order right to your House, Dock, or Fishing Boat.

4. Using a Lap-Top Computer, you can even Track the delivery of your order.

5. We Deliver anywhere in the USA in 15 minutes or less.

Warning:

The BAITMAN Delivery Service is intended for personal orders only. DO NOT use this service to send a "GIFT ORDER" to friends. Baitman is not responsible for delivery to wrong GPS addresses, or any Anti-Ballistic systems encountered in Delivery. Please include Shipping Charges with your order. (about $565,000). If you are interested in a "Core" Refund of the Missile Body, or any extra Insurance....please advise at time of your order. Thank You.

Baitman Press Release:

11/14/04

To learn more about how our Delivery System works -

you may enjoy the following video link:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/iraq/_common/_images/cruise_missile/flash.htm

Baitman Enterprises
100.15

100.14 - Homeland Security ALERT

WARNING:

The Department of HOMELAND SECURITY has detected that you have "ATTEMPTED" to purchase Bait and Worms from the BAITMAN utilizing the Front Alias of the Trojan Busters Website.

Your order for Worms was viewed and documented in the Guest Book.

Should you actually receive your order, You will be considered in "POSSESSION"...and that could be a heap of trouble for YOU......You are dealing with an OFF Shore Organization which has been distributing Worms, Minnows, and Crickets around the World and has never paid the "Container" Deposits.

The Geneva Convention laws of 1947 clearly indicates that you must be charged .46 cents per container of all Inter Coastal Worm/Fish/Rabbit products received. Unfortunately, The Baitman scammed the sales as "Free Delivery", but unfortunately, for you, you will need to surrender All of the Containers in Possession or be accessed a Tax at Current Taxation Rates.

The Current Rate: $56.52 US = $63.40 Euro..... Please report to our New York Office and bring all Empty Containers with you to validate a Credit. Any that you lost on the Dock will be on you. Sorry.

Our Records indicate that you have ordered Worms from the BAITMAN for many years and you even got some of the "Special Delivery" features. The "Container Deposits" and "Nose Cone Core Deposits" must be accounted for at this time.

If you desire any type of Amnesty, we suggest you get a lawyer or Contact your Baitman Supplier.

Executive Order: 365.410.211.3
100.14

100.13 - BAITMASTER - In Global Office

100.12 - Baitman Tee Shirt - Limited Edition