100.12 - Worms To Riches Chain Letter

INSTRUCTIONS

Take all your excessive Worms, place them in a sturdy envelope and mail them to the participant named as the top of the list. Then - fill in the form at bottom of this document and submit it to the Baitman by clicking on the bar.

Your name will appended to the bottom of the list. When it is estimated that the current receptor has received his load of Worms, his name will be removed and everybody moved up a notch. In short order, you will have one million worms in your E-Box..

WARNING!
Do not break this chain! ....This is a one-time Baitman Promotion. Anyone who breaks this Chain will suffer Full Flotation Charges when ordering Baitman Products in the future.

SEND FIRST LOAD OF WORMS To:

Hilbert Sendmeallayourworms.Net

CURRENT PARTICIPANTS:

Joe Wishing on A Worm.com

Dougie Ice Cold Worms on a Stick.com

Berni I love All Chain Letters.com

Fill in the following form and add your friends: Remember, Every worm you send out gets you at least l Million worms. That makes a lot of Fish Dinners.....

Name:

Street:
City:

State:

Zip:

Baitman Disclosure Statement:

Baitman sponsors this Chain Letter only to introduce New Fishermen to the Wonderful World of Worms. It is understood that any of our Regular Customers, being enhanced with l million worms, would conscientiously donate the bounty to the "Save The Worm" Foundation and place their normal orders with Baitman at Full Regular Prices.

Baitman Enterprises

10/04/2004

100.12

100.11 - Drunk Worm Report

SPECIAL REPORT FROM BAITMAN UNIVERSITY

Psychology Department: 11/30/04

Scientists get worms drunk

San Francisco - Researchers found a gene responsible for drunkenness in worms after plying thousands of the tiny creatures with booze, a discovery that could boost the fight against alcoholism.

The experiment was conducted by University of California and San Francisco researchers.

Because it is believed that alcohol affects all animals similarly, Fisherman, like worms, may also possess a single gene responsible for drunkenness.

"Our end goal is to find a way to cure alcoholism and drug abuse," Dr. Steven McIntire said. "We hope to develop effective therapeutics to help Fisherman from Alcohol Abuse". Fishermen are in a High Risk category due to their excess experience with worms that may not be Sober at the time of use.

After six years of work on the project, McIntire can now spot a soused worm about as well as a highway patrol trooper can spot a drunken driver.

He and the other scientists dosed hundreds of thousands of worms with enough alcohol that they would be too drunk to drive legally (if they were humans with the same blood-to-alcohol level).

The drunken worms moved slower and more clumsy than sober ones, and laid fewer eggs. Teetotaler worms form a neat S shape to power propulsion while the bodies of drunken worms were straighter and less active.

When worms go wild..........

Apparently, earthworm alcohol abuse is common and costs the country billions of dollars each year in lost productivity.

Have you wondered why you see worms littering sidewalks during heavy rainstorms?

The drunken invertebrates are normally deep in their holes, sleeping off another wild night of boozing. When the rain floods their cribs, the hung-over worms crawl out, pass out and sprawl out on the warm walks.

A tipsy wiggler is easy to spot, says project researcher Dr. Steven McIntire.

Totally toasted worms move slower than sober ones. The teetotalers form neat S-shapes to power their movement across the ground, he says. The drunk worms were straighter, less active and slurred their slime.

"We had several fights break out among the intoxicated worms," a researcher quipped. "A drunk worm is a mean worm. You don't want to be alone and run into one in a dark bait shop, I can tell you that."

Several researchers tried using the sloshed worms as fishing bait, with little success.

"They hang limp on the hook, too intoxicated to wiggle," said one of the fishermen. "Or they drown or get sick in the water and scare the fish away. Drunken worms don't make good fishing bait."

The good news is the research uncovered the gene that causes the pub crawlers to get pickled. Although drunken Fishermen are more complex than worms, researchers believe we too may have a single gene responsible for alcoholism.

That gene helps slow brain transmissions. Alcohol increases the gene's activity, slowing the brain even more. That's why drunks do so many stupid things, such as eating the worms in Mexican tequila.

When the gene is disabled or mutated, it can't tell the brain to slow down and act drunk.

That's great booze news. Genetic engineering may one day allow you to drink like a fish, but never get drunk.

Better living through science.

The study discovered that intoxicated worms lay fewer eggs than sober crawlers. That could lead to changes in Worm populations that are experienced mostly during the Holiday Seasons. Supply and Demand set the Global Market costs of bait.

No one knows how many worms misuse alcohol. The stubborn little wigglers refuse to fill out questionnaires after a day on the Beach.

BAITMAN is not particulary alarmed at this scientific study. At first glance, it would seem that a Happy Worm will soon make a Happy Fisherman. Baitman always cautions our customers to handle Worms with Care. However, if you are concerned about your contact with Drunk Worms, we have set up a special Support Group. Call: 800-AAA-WORM.

BAITMAN will continue to ship the finest and happiest Worms that are available. If you require Low-Alcohol Worms, please indicate on your next order.

If you have any excess Worms that you would like to donate for further Research Study, you may submit to the Baitman University. Please carefully pack all specimens in "alcohol" and clearly mark the alcohol content. Sorry, we do not accept any 3.2% samples at this time, All Worms become the property of the Baitman and no alcohol can be returned.

Baitman Enterprises
100.11

100.10 - Baitman Service Pak 6.0

BAITMAN SERVICE PAK 6.0

A Critical Warning is being issued to the BAITMAN shareholders. Our Underwater Division has discovered that the Fish have schooled together their resources and are claiming that the Introduction of Our Fishing Cam is an Invasion of their Privacy.

The Fish, taking International Water Laws, into their own hands, have figured out that most Fisherman come equipped with a supply of Beer while fishing. Thus, they are now retaliating by using BEER to trap unsuspecting fisherman.

To protect our valuable customers......we are Introducing:

BAITMAN BEER - 6/PAK6.0 Windows version beta.(6x).

This Emergency Response Item can be ordered with your regular Worm/Crawler Order. Baitman suggests that you Download at least one Service Pak on each fishing trip. This will protect you from the temptations from the Fish Community who are attempting to BAIT you with "Free Beer"......

Don't Be a Sucker.......

FALL OVERBOARD ONLY FOR... BAITMAN BEER......

BAITMAN Enterprises

Disclaimer Note:

Baitman Service Paks will be shipped l/2 full. This provides safety in compliance safe navigation rules and also provides flotation and loss prevention in case of user stupidity. Certified Baitman Customers may order BAITMAN BEER in 55gal Drums. The drums can be recycled into Live Wells or perhaps even a Pontoon. Schematic Plans available from BAITMAN PRODUCTS.

Baitman Enterprises
100.10

100.09 - Fish Mathematics Problem

SOLVE THIS MATH PROBLEM:

Joe & Sam are both Fishermen and Rabbit Clubbers. Both want to Open their own Business. Joe specializes in FISH and Sam specializes in RABBITS.......Being Friends, and not wanting to compete against each other, they agree on an approx. 3 to 1 Fair Trade Agreement.

Upon Audit, Joe and Sam open their books and submit the following information. After reviewing the charts and graphs, please resolve the the questions below.....

RULES:

1. Turn Cell Phones OFF now.

2. Use Black #2 Pencils

3. Read All Materials and Show All Work Calculations

4. START Now...... Turn Paper Over & Raise RIGHT HAND when Finished.

OPEN THIS BOOKLET.......NOW......

Questions:

1. Comparing the Slopes - How Many Fish would it take to Feed One Rabbit?

2. If Rabbits are Vegetarian, How Many Fish would never be eaten?

3. If Rabbits have nothing to Eat, then how many Fish would survive?

4. Considering Breeding Time, and population replacement, would you think that SAM and JOE

have a Fair Trading Agreement of 3/1 ratio?

YOUR FINAL ANSWER...... PLEASE..............................................

Note: BAITMAN presents this intellectual thought activity for your information...just to let you know of some of the things that we have to THINK about to bring you, OUR LOYAL CUSTOMERS, the finest Bait Products on the Market.

We do serious Market Research.... We got Worm, Fish, Rabbits, Golf Balls, and just about anything else you might need. Don't be a Sucker to other bait companies......

Baitman Enterprises
100.09

100.08 - Fish Mathematics - Adult Level

Fish Mathematics:

Suppose we have n particles (fish) with positions x₁, ..., x_n and constant masses m₁, ..., m_n.

The Newtonian motion of particles satisfies m_i a_i = F_i, where F_i is the net force on particle i and a_i is the acceleration or second derivative of the x_i position with respect to time.

If the forces between particles are gravitational, then net force on i can be the sum of individual forces on i due to all of the other particles. The force of particle j on particle i, F_ij, in the gravitational sense, may be determined by the following formula (|| || is used to denote the Euclidean norm).

If you want a coulombic attraction, ascribe charges to the particles and change the constant a little:

Note, the last term correlates to the direction of the force. If you want to try van der Waals forces, they are a bit more complex:

where C is about 1/10. While particles far away are attracted, particles that become too close are repelled introducing some interesting dynamics.

The differential equations for the motion of the system then become:

.

Given initial positions and velocities, we can hypothetically integrate these equations to find the exact position as a function of time. In practice, there are several ways of numerically solving this system, and one common quick (yet innacurate) method we use is the Euler method.

Additional BAITMAN Study Guides are available on Request.....with an Order for Bait, of course....You know how it works....

Baitman Note: To find the value of "fish" and to purchase further Study Guides, see Answer in the next Posting.

9/20/04

100.07 - Baitman Shareholder's Report

ATTENTION:

BAITMAN SHAREHOLDERS.......

Baitman enterprises has always focused on creating long-term shareholder value and is alarmed at the recent "illegal leak" of Insider information from "Better Baits" who uttered and published the following statement:

Baitman Inc. ( BTM ) stocks fell to an all time low today causing the company to be
booted off the NYSE. ....... 52 week high $5.01 to 52 week low 0.07 share.
( BTM) anounced at a recent share holders meeting that this was primarily
due to its rival Better Bait inc.

It should be remembered to all that in the 2000 "State of the Bait" address that Baitman would be aggressively exploring the "Off-Shore Markets". Towards this goal we have introduced the "Canadian Crawler" and have partnered with the Koreans for a Fishing Cam Monopoly.

Last week we partnered with the Austrailians and developed the only "Super Terrestris" Worm - A full "36" inches...... The first order came from South Carolina. Evidently, this was a the last straw for the Better Baits empire and this Management action caused a "Crash" on the NYSE by suddenly dumping 75.000 empty worm containers on the market.

Better Baits laments.....

( BB ) NYSE , and due to the fact : " I have 75,000
empty worm containers and no revenue for worms to fill them."

The Worm World has changed since 911 and it should be be no surprise that the Baitman needs to become GLOBAL and enter the International trading market. This is mostly needed because some Bait companies like "Better Baits" engage in "Worm Strip-Mining" with no regards to environmental concerns and there are often reports that none of the worms ever get a good diet before presenting to the public.

The Board apologizes to any Shareholders that were not Privy to Insider Information (we do not do that type of illegal practice) that caused the New York Stock Market to Crash today. Rest assured that all of your stock has been transferred safely into the International Market.

You can see by the following Stock Report that we have firmly niched into the Worm Livestock Market and look forward to issuing the BEST Dividends per Ounce performance.

INTERNATIONAL STOCK EXCHANGE:

IPO - pics BAITMAN as AAAA stock. Commodity Worm Stock is traded per lbs and per oz. BAITMAN will soon offer On-line Trading. Users must review the Trade Status below, Agree to Baitman Loyalty Statement, and create a Password which allows purchase of worms of Foreign Soil. All worms may be used in International Waters at user's risk.

Address all Shareholder Inquiries to:

BAITMAN/worm/$$$/fish/.org.

Our Strategy is Intact and Working....We Hold the "Worm"....You hold the "Line".......
Baitman Enterprises
100.07

100.06 - Worm Science Project - Grades K-8

Baitman Science Project:

Science

Project : for School.

Grades K-8 and

Great Prizes from

The BAITMAN....

EXPERIMENT:

How to Determine the Weight of A Worm:

WHAT SUPPLIES YOU WILL NEED:

1. One Fish

2. One Worm

3. Scale

4. Bucket of Water

5. Small Box of Fish Food

*** Note: No Hooks or lines needed in this experiment.

HOW TO CONDUCT THIS SCIENCE PROJECT:

You are trying to determine how much a "Worm" actually weights and your Test Documentation will be entered into the Baitman Science Fair.....

First, you need a good Fish. You may select any favorite type of Fish that you like. It may be Big or Small as long as it will fit in the Bucket. A Live Fish would be Best, but you may also select from the Fish Counter at Farmer Jacks.

Here's where the SCALE is very important. If you are using a Live Fish...weigh it on the Scale and record the number. It is advised to lightly "burb" the Fish to remove the water for a more accurate reading. If you got your Fish from Farmer Jacks, you can simply record the "weight" from the Package. Note: The "Price per lbs" does not affect this experiement, so pick the Cod instead of the Salmon to save some money.

Select One Healthy Worm and set aside. Do not put the worm on the Scale. Doing this will defeat the purpose of the whole experiment and you will end up not learning anything from this Project.

Fill your Bucket with One Gallon of Water....Do not use Salt Water, as that will give false readings. Now add a One Ounce Box of Fish Food to the Water.

Now add your Fish to the Bucket (Document Weight First)... Now throw in the WORM, Let the Fish consume all of the Food and the Worm. If you are using a Farmer Jack Fish, just stuf the Worm and Food into it before putting into the Bucket.

HOW TO CALCULATE RESULTS:

After One Hour, remove Fish from the Bucket and place back on the Scale. Record this weight, but make sure that you have "Burped" the Fish first. Compare the weights of the Before and After Fish, and subtract the One ounce for the Fish food......

Congratulations.... the difference is the Actual Weight of the WORM.

Baitman Enterprises

1/1/05
100.06

100.05 - Baitman Bath & Body Products

Bath and Body Collection

( NEW ) SOAPS - Get Clean with "Dirt"
Baitman Bath Bar Soaps. All Bath & Body products use the same essential Earthworm oils to ensure the perfect scent experience. Available In Six Fragrances. Dirt, Beer, Fresh Fish, Natural Worm, Cool Rain and Morning Golf Course.

As advertised in Baitman Digest:

Customer Comments & Reviews

I phoned the company as soon as I heard about it and ordered three bottles. “Can you ship them overnight?” I asked, frantic with excitement.

I tore open the package and stood holding one of the plainly-labeled bottles in my hand, trying to summon up the scent of earthworms in my mind. I thought of the garlic smell my composting worms were supposed to give off, and of the legendary lily-scented worms that are quite possible extinct now.

I can see the entirety of the earthworm story told in these fragrances. “Earthworm” and “Grass” like the nightcrawler castings on a golf course.

This product now available in the Baitman Store. Order Today.
100.05

100.04 - Happy Easter - Fish Eggs

TO: BAITMAN SHAREHOLDERS:

During this Easter Season we naturally think of EASTER EGGS.......but BAITMAN wants to remind you that we also carry a complete line of FISH EGGS....... If you are an environmental friendly Fisherman who is interested in the living a Low-Carb Diet, then you will not want to miss the following Information. This "other Egg" is the State of the Art and the "Cavier" of the Industry........

Fish Eggs For Caviar And Bait

Fish eggs can be easily processed into caviar or fish bait. For high-quality products, the egg sacs (skeins) should be carefully removed from the fish at the place of catch, put into plastic bags, and packed in ice.

Caviar can be made from the eggs of a number of fish including salmon, mullet, herring, sturgeon, steelhead, striped bass, and shad.

For the Holiday Season ONLY, we will package the FISH EGGS per dozen like the WORMS per dozen. However, next week we will be back to shipping our New "36 inch" worms and all Flotation Charges will be billed accordingly.

It has been brought to our attention that "Better Baits" is also running a Promotion. We caution everyone to "Examine ALL Baits before USE".......

WARNING: The eggs of cabezon are poisonous and should not be eaten.

BAITMAN ENTERPRISES WISHES YOU A HAPPY AND SAFE EASTER SEASON.............

100.03 - Baitman Bids for Port Authority

Ports Control "ON HOLD"

...Baitman Bids For Port Authority...

Firm says it will work with White House, Congress on issues

Friday, February 24, 2006; Posted: 1:46 a.m. EST (06:46 GMT)

President Bush said Thursday that the deal to give control of Six US Ports control to the Arabs may have been a hasty decision in light of a last minute Bid by the BAITMAN. WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Dubai Ports World has agreed to postpone its plans to take over management of six U.S. ports after the proposal ignited harsh bipartisan criticism on Capitol Hill. T he announcement came on the heels of comments from the second in command at the Pentagon, who said Thursday that people who publicly oppose allowing a Middle Eastern company to take over management of some U.S. ports could be threatening national security. The White House said Thursday that President Bush is now favoring the awarding of the Port Contract to The Baitman. This decision was fully endorsed by the Michigan Governor, Jennifer Graholm, who is most familiar with the Baitman from the Great Lakes State.

At issue, is the matter of National Security. It has long been known that most Containers that are shipped to the US ports are simply just not inspected. The Baitman has proved to be a Container Expert. Never was there a Worm Container not Inspected before going from one port to another port.

The merger -- which involves ports in New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Florida and Louisiana -- Myrtyle Beach is is pending Homeland Security Review. Baitman Enterprises already controls the European, Canadian, and Mexican Crawler Ports.

The only opposition in congress at this time is Senator Hillary Clinton, NY who really doesn't know the difference between a Flag Pole or a Fishing Pole.

Details were not made public in the classified report. Bush Comments at Today's Press Conference:

"Improvements are needed in the inspection process to ensure that :"Weapons of Bass Destruction" or other implements of terror do not gain access to the U.S. through ocean going cargo containers,"

Baitman Enterprises

2/26/06

100.01 - BAITMAN BEER KIT

BAITMAN BEER MACHINE....FOR YOUR FISHING BOAT.

Baitman introduces the new Beer Machine that easily installs in any corner of your Fishing Boat. Never worry about running out of Beer on your next Fishing Trip when you can make your own right on board. Connects to your l2 volt battery,

The Beer Machine is a self-contained, single-step brewer that makes brewing your own fresh premium naturally made beer as easy as brewing coffee.

BUT........DON'T ORDER YET........... The Retail Price is only $89.95.....but NOT if you are one of the first 2 Baitman customers who call in NOW.....

This Kit includes:

1. Beer Making Compressor - works on Free Air, Water, and 12 volt battery.

2. Secret Baitman Beer Mix - Comparable to Milwaukee's Best, but you can order other recipes.

3. Free Thermometer. Use for Fire Brewing Beer or you can use to get the temp of the water.

ORDER NOW....... and you will also get the Baitman Tee-Shirt and Two Baitman Mugs. Use your Baitman Debit Card and it is all yours for only:

$19.95

Plus the usual Baitman Handling Charges.

NOTE: This offer is in response to our many customers who declined our Baitman Tequila Offer. It seems that the Fishermen were only wanting the "36" WORM in every bottle and pouring the rest out. Even though there is no Worm in the Beer Kit, you may still order them separately and add to the Brew. ENJOY....

Baitman Enterprises:

3/4/06

100.02 - Grandpa Baitman's Shoppe